I should keep up with writing in my blog, but what matters should I report on? It's not as though something interesting and exciting is happening in my life. It's just work, work, work, and more work. Apart from the fact that I went back home during my Christmas break, I have nothing else to report on except about my dear friend Iris. Let me just say that going back home was beyond amazing and I forever love Bahrain.
As she stepped out into the street, turning left and right, before taking a leap to the other side, Iris suddenly realized something. Although she was only 18, fresh out of school and attending a university that she didn't particularly liked, she decided that a change must take place; it was almost inevitable.
When I look back now, I sometimes think to myself that poor Iris might have been far better where she was and the change she wanted to happen was not necessarily the right thing for her. I base that on the fact that since then, her life has been one constant struggle.
The only way I can describe it is that it was some kind of powerful force that would pick her up and with one swift motion, it would smash her against the ground leaving her, like a fish, to thrash and toss because of how great the pain is. How could life be that cruel and painful? And I wonder, why doesn't life give you a break to breath in between? Why does it always have to be one constant thing after the other?
She looks at her life and those around her. Most have carried on with jobs, fiances, marriages, and children. What has she achieved so far? She is still trapped in a situation where there's no hope of an exit. In addition, her education is giving her a very hard time. It seems that every time she managed to take one step forward, something would pull her ten steps back. It discourages her. While deep down she wants to make something out of herself, she can't help but wonder whether it is all worth it. In my opinion, I think it is. She may have made some mistakes, and the future may not seem so bright at the moment, but I anticipate a wonderful life for Iris if she can be patient and hold on for just a little bit more. You should see the look on her face when I tell her that though - I would always find myself confused as to whether I should burst out laughing or just sit back and refrain from talking.
The other day, we were on the train. Sat next to Iris was a lovely little champagne-haired girl. Iris would not stop smiling and making all these funny faces at her. She used to dislike kids, and she says she still does a little, but she's getting to a point where every time she looked at a baby, her stomach would hurt. It's like every cell in her body would scream out, 'it's time,' and without realizing, she'd find herself stroking her stomach, yearning to be a mother. I know it's her biological clock, but I don't think it's the right time nor place. She needs to feel settled within herself before she could even think of having another human being grow inside her.
As for her personal life, she is back with the same person. I smiled when I typed that. I'm starting to believe that forgiveness does exist and that it is a very powerful act. Things are different for her this time and she is stronger - way stronger - than she used to be when it came to him. It's amazing how assertive she's become and how she manages to strike a balance between her wants and needs and her love for him. He seems to have calmed down too. He's more accepting of this relationship and much more verbal about his feelings towards her. He also seems adamant about what he wants - which is her. I'm glad to see a level of respect between them.
Now if only my best friend, who considers me an ex-best friend, would chill with the stubbornness and realize that life is a lot shorter than it seems - people make mistakes, and sometimes we say the wrong things at the wrong time - and sometimes we are very protective of our family and loved ones that we do the craziest things to keep them away from harm, even though they don't realize it and in most cases, will never understand our motives. I don't know when people will stop and start to see some good in one another instead of the bad. Why is it easy to condemn a person and harder to commend them? Why is it harder to remember the lovely things they've done for you and much easier to hold on to the 'bad'? When will some people stop behaving like victims? I think the world would be a much better place if people start becoming a lot nicer (and genuine) towards each other. I doubt my friend would ever see sense - she is far up her own ass... sadly.
I wish I could write more, but my fingers ache and I'm starting to get distracted. However, I will do my best to continue writing. It is the greatest therapy of all.
Written 07 March, 2008
4 comments:
:)
thats a pretty piece of writing... thing is, you dont need to always write about 'issues'... you have the power to make up whatever issues you want, whatever stories, whatever anything... yala, you have a beautiful style, so lets see more of your stuff :)
Yay, an update!
Iris, as always, is very wise. Life is about struggle and mistakes.
Glad to hear that Iris is back with her partner and happy :)
Iris should believe that God only gives her so much to deal with before He lightens the load. I can't remember what the phrase is but basically He will only test you so much before things get better. Trust me, Iris will see the light at the end of the tunnel, she just needs to keep perservering... besides, it would just make it all the sweeter when she succeeds!
Your wriing style is smooth. Love to read posts that have a bit of brilliance to them...waiting for more updates!
Peace,
SoulSearch
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