Raining Blood

The nightmare still plays on...
My life is this complicated knot. I'm trying to un-knot it slowly and gently, but everytime I do, it gets even more twisted and complicated.
I have learned that my problem does not revolve around me and only me. It revolves around others I can't seem to classify into a category. Are they family? Strangers? Friends? Enemies? I don't know what to name them. It doesn't matter anyway because nothing can change the fact that it makes everything worse.
The guy is even more attached to me... His mother hates me... His sister has been talking... People are opening thier eyes slowly... My family have placed a bet among themselves that i'm insane and this guy will run off in no time... So what? My mother considers it a challenge and wants me to prove them wrong. I'd like to prove them right rather than wrong... See how complicated it gets?
Where is the exit in this riddle?

"Trapped in purgatory
a lifeless object,
alive
awaiting reprisal
and death..
i said, she said..
death will be their acquisition
the sky is turning red
return to power draws near
fall onto me
onto her
fall onto me
the sky's crimson tears
abolish the rules
abolish the rules
made of stone
pierced from below
souls of my treacherous past
betrayed by many
now ornaments dripping above
awaiting the hour of reprisal, mmmm
your time slips away
raining blood
raining blood
from a lacerated sky
bleeding its horror
creating my structure
now i shall
reign in blood" - Tori Amos

Everything must go...

Packed out street today. Big mothers and small kids with ice lollie-stains clutter the pavement and I can’t keep my stride. Around the swaying old fella picking his nose (If you’re waiting for a bus mate- find a bus stop). Three clear strides now, almost…. Lurch. Big bloke barrelling out of Dixons. PHILIPS MIDI SYSTEM clutched under arm. Bloke has his eye fixed firmly on the space next to the telly in his flock papered council house and nothing else (what am I, Invisible?) Spend your cash on something useful mate, like the jacked up Cortina rotting in your driveway. I veer away kerbwards, and cross the street, meeting halfway a pack of lunchtime beers in suits. I break through them like surf, catching the lagered spray of their breath as they bellow and laugh over my head, then wash away behind me into the traffic noise. I check the bird in the mobile phone shop. No leg today. She’ s sitting behind the counter pulling cuticles or something. Estate Agents, Estate Agents, Bookies. And then I’m crossing the end of the pedestrianised section by the phone boxes and I can breathe a bit, find some peace. I see Samantha from school trying to stand her kid up. Its lying on its face screaming and the fat cow is trying to pick it up by its tracksuit hood. Then they’re gone and my own face is flashing in the window of Our Price. Summer Madness Sale. Everything must go.

Hmmmm...

1. Orthodox Quaker (100%)
2. Islam (82%)
3. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (82%)
4. Orthodox Judaism (82%)
5. Bahل'ي Faith (79%)
6. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (79%)
7. Sikhism (76%)
8. Seventh Day Adventist (75%)
9. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (71%)
10. Liberal Quakers (71%)
11. Eastern Orthodox (69%)
12. Roman Catholic (69%)
13. Jehovah's Witness (58%)
14. Reform Judaism (58%)
15. Jainism (54%)
16. Mahayana Buddhism (52%)
17. Theravada Buddhism (52%)
18. Unitarian Universalism (51%)
19. Hinduism (48%)
20. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (41%)
21. Taoism (34%)
22. Neo-Pagan (33%)
23. Scientology (30%)
24. New Age (30%)
25. Secular Humanism (27%)
26. New Thought (27%)
27. Nontheist (15%)

Find out your belief(s)

"Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows."

I have my own predictions for the year 2050. It's mostly inspired by two books from my favorite author, George Orwell. The first one is 1984 and the other is about the Russian revolution, Animal Farm. George Orwell is a man of intelligence and with his books, has painted an image of his very own predictions. Who do you think resembles 'Big Brother' in our world today? How much time is left until the 'Thought police' takes over our ways of thought and imagination? Our world might evolve from a 'democractic' nation to a totalitarian state. Or is it the other way around?

There's hope in society I hear people say. However, freedom is only a dream. How do we free ourselves when society can't define its moral values?

"It was terribly dangerous to let your thoughts wander when you were in any public place or within range of a telescreen. The smallest thing could igve you away. A nervous tic, an unconscious look of anxiety, a habit of muttering to yourself—anything that carried with it the suggestion of abnormality, of having something to hide. In any case, to wear an improper expression on your face… was itself a punishable offense. There was even a word for it in Newspeak: facecrime…" 1984 —pg 54

"No question now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which." Animal farm - Chapter 10, pg. 118

Think about it.

Various things

I do not wish to comment on Al-Khawaja's sentencing not because I'm chicken shit, but I'm full of rage and anger. I think Al-Khawaja should have been much more intelligent than to voice his despite about the Prime Minister to the world. I'm not angry for him, but at the courts. Some of you may comment that anyone should have the right to voice thier opinion, but Al-Khawaja's trial has proven othwerwise. I've always known that such so-called democracy never existed in our world and I assume it never will. Let your anger be known, speak up, go on protests and demonstrations - I will be the first to participate - but our region is cursed and our leaders will always keep us in the dark and have us struggle to get to where we can switch on the light.

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I went to Bluewater yesterday. It's the time of the year when Christmas lights decorate the malls, shops, and even the streets. You know it's Christmas when the smell of ginger, nutmeg, and egg nog fills your nose. The weather is so cold and all you feel like doing is wrap a heavy coat around your body, pull a scarf around your neck, and walk down Regent's street with a gingerbread latté in one hand and a warm comforting friend in the other. I wish I could stay here for Christmas and celebrate with some of my friends. Unfortuntaly, I'll be back home having a hard time coping with my reality...

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I'm toying with the idea of whether or not I should write about politics. However, I most probably won't. In general, most of the Bahraini blogs I read on here write about politics and it makes me feel uncomfotrable when I write about my personal life...

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"....killed a cockroach so big it left a puddle of pus on the wall. You know, when you and I are lying in bed you don't seem so tall, i'm singing now because my tear ducts are too tired and my mind is disconnected but my heart is wired..."

*smacks herself on the forehead*

I've been trying to figure out how to use this thing, but it's so confusing. Blame it on law school, but could it possibly be that my mind has gone down the drain? I can't seem to think staright anymore. It's just filled with all these dates and different cases.

Anyways... If there's anyone here who bothers to read my diary, could you please explain to me how this site works?

Well all my colours bleed for youCan’t you see them running? My hazy hills glow green for you You could just call me, you know? On my mobile number cause I’m always in And I was just thinking about you on emergency 72 yeah Well all my lust comes down to dust Can’t you see it crumbling? My hazy hill come down to rust But you could call me, you know? You’re pulling me out of this whirlpool You're making me breathe again And I was just thinking about you on...emergency 72 yeah

Hell yeah

Life is a b movie
It's stupid and it's strange
A directionless story and the dialogue is lame
but in the he said she said sometimes there's some poetry
if you turn your back long enough and let it happen naturally.